Homeward Bound

Ryan and I are headed back to Holland this weekend, and we're both looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the time off of work and wedding planning and of course, seeing my family again. It feels like it's been forever. From the sound of it, it should be a filled weekend. Saturday the sibs are coming into town for some sweet and sour chicken (homemade style) and then it looks like it will be game night with the LaBarges. I'm looking forward to it. Ryan is bringing his bowling stuff in case we sneak in a game of bowling and my stud can show off his mad skills. :) Hopefully it will be a restful weekend and the weather will cooperate with the drive.
Thanks for all of your encouraging words everyone, and Dad, thanks for the song.
(The pic is from last Saturday's Date Night. We went to my new favortie restaurant Ballisteri's for pizza, and then once again followed in our Colorado cousins footsteps--or should I say webbed feet--and went to see Happy Feet. We had a great time, and I'm looking forward to another good weekend this weekend.)

sometimes you're the scrub...Part II

Normally, which means most of the time, I really enjoy work. I like what I do. I like the people I work with. I like the patients that come in. And no matter how bizarre, and whether or not some people come in because they are lonely or because they're dying I like the variety of the day. It makes things interesting. However, lately I can't stand my job. Perhaps it's because I'm there too much. I've picked up extra hours lately, and maybe it's just too much. I got to work today to find out that my partner was scheduled to work with a different Doctor than the ones in Urgent Care, and that the other MA that was scheduled to work with me called in sick. We were already short-staffed today, so I ended up working by myself for awhile with two doctors when there should have been three of us for the two of them. It was crazy. Finally one of the other MA's came over to help me out, but it still seemed as though my candle had already burnt its' way through both ends. The rest of the morning was busy, and I was crabby and trying to shake the mood. In the early afternoon we finally had a lull, and one of the doctors who had come in at 1 o'clock went to his office to work on co-signing some charts. He asked me to come and find him when there were patients waiting, which I reassured him I would do. Then some triage calls came in, a patient needed an IV-then didn't need an IV-then did and then it was decided that she was going to go to the hospital to get an IV, and then I started to work on the in-service for Friday morning which I normally have a full day of the work week to work on, but we've been so short staffed that I've been trying to come up with it between patients. I had sat down to begin working on the presentation when one of my partners (we finally had three people in the afternoon which was VERY nice) went to get the doctor who was charting in his office. He got to his first patient and promptly came out exasperated stating, and I quote, "that poor patient just told me that they've been waiting in the room for the past twenty minutes. Why didn't you come and get me, I was just sitting in my office charting and I could've come and seen them and now they're all upset, etc etc etc". To which I responded, "Dr. Carroll, I'm very sorry, I got called away to triage some calls and forgot to come and get you." Well, the answer did not satisfy him and he went back to the exam room, finished with that patient, came out and briefly mentioned it again, and then went back into room number two. He exited that room when he was done and repeated that "now I have three patients that are upset because they had to wait and..." he proceeds to again explain to me for the third time of why he was in his office charting and blah blah blah. Like I'm stupid and didn't understand that the first three times? I repeated myself, "Dr. Carroll, I'm very sorry that I didn't come and get you right away, I got caught up with doing some other things and was not around when those patients came in. You had two other team members that didn't get you as well and I'm very sorry that they had to wait twenty minutes to be seen but I simply forgot. I don't know what else you'd like me to do or say." His response, "well Becky, I just feel as though I can't trust you anymore". In the words of my cousin Marni's blog, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?" Really? You can't TRUST me anymore because I didn't personally come and get you one time out of a hundred? And don't get me wrong, I know how frustrating it is to sit and wait in a doctor's office. I truly get that, and do feel badly for the patients that they had to wait twenty extra mintues. But if you're going to tell me that you can't TRUST me anymore, that's another issue entirely. UN-BE-LIEVEABLE!! And to be honest, I can't imagine what it must've and still must be like to be this gentleman's children or grandchildren. And my hope is that his trust with them is not as fragile as it is with his co-workers.
Alas, I know that the only reason the whole situation bothered me was because I've been stressed out this week, and I feel my energy wearing thin. I'm tired, and spent. Wedding plans, future education plans for Ryan, work, going home this weekend, potentially moving, etc all this stuff seems to be piling up and I know that I just need to have a vacation soon. Luckily one is coming up in February and I can't wait. I finally understand the need for a Honeymoon. Yes, it's going to be great to be away with Ryan for a week, but the other nice aspect is that I'll be "away" for a week. I'm really looking forward to it.

somedays you're the windshield....somedays you're the scrub

Today was a day like any other day, but for no particular reason, I awoke in a bad mood. I didn't want to go to work, I didn't want to get out of bed, and I most certainly did not want to take the first shower of the morning. In my laziness I called my roommate's cell to ask her if she'd hop in the shower a full ten minutes before me so that I could enjoy my fleece blanket and back of the eyelids for the precious few minutes. After she finished, and woke me up with our traditional banging on the door, I sleepily got into the shower to begin my day. I decided that today was most definately going to be a coffee day. I made my Starbucks run for a Venti Houseblend, which was better than usual. (I actually just finished that cold coffee at 7pm tonight). The morning was not eventful but busy. Dan and I had to work shorthanded all day, and it wasn't until mid-way through the morning that one of our doctors asked where the third team member was. I took it as a compliment that she didn't notice for the first three hours that Dan and I were running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Normally days like today wouldn't bother me, but today just made for a long day. Only elongated by the fact that I had to work the PM shift as well and everyone and their mama decided to come in. Not so much a problem but here is an example of what a patient did. Pt enters clinic stating that she needs to be seen immediately because they were hit by a car. I have her sent right back and go in to assess the patient who is laughing and joking with me, have some pain in her arm, but is able to fully move it and has no loss sensation, etc. Pt tells me that she didn't hit her head or hurt her neck, lose consciousness etc. Blah blah blah, basically the patient is fine minus the fact that her arm hurts because she was hit by a car. Valid enough reason for coming to the clinic. The provider that I am working with refers her to the hospital for an x-ray, to which the patient's mother states, "I don't really think it's broken and neither does my daughter. What if I don't get the x-ray, can I just splint it at home?" WHY THE HECK DID YOU JUST WASTE MY TIME BY COMING INTO THE CLINIC THEN???!!!!!??! Just a day like that. And only an hour and a half left. Oh bed sweet bed, I can't wait to see you tonight!

Senegal

I went to the movies tonight with Ryan and some of his friends from work. We saw "Stranger Than Fiction", a story about a man who finds his life and mundane activities being narrorated by an unknown source. It was an interesting movie, and I was looking forward to seeing it, seeing that Will Ferrall is an actor that I tend to really like. The movie was good, and the time with Ryan and his friends went well also. I was lucky that I didn't have a "crowding" experience with annoying people near me like poor Marni and Chris the other night. It always seems to happen, but thankfully not this past time. Anyway, it seems to be a common trend that when you are least expecting something, BAM odd statements, or parts of a movie hit you in an unexpected way. To save any details of the story, in case those of you very few out there that are reading this blog want to see the movie, I'll give limited set-up and context of the line that got me thinking. It was simply this, one of the characters states in the movie that it is one thing to write a story where the person does not know that they are going to die, and then they end up unexpectedly dying. While it is an entirely different thing to have a person KNOW that they are going to die, and yet willingly go along with it. It is the latter that you'd much rather save.
I thought that it was a good and decent point, with obvious correlations to Jesus, knowing that he was going to die, but yet he was willing to give his life that others could share in eternal life with the Father. It struck me that one of the most impactful things about the story of Calvary isn't so much that Christ died for us (which is not to downplay the sacrifice), but rather that he WILLINGLY gave his life for us, KNOWING the cost/pain/suffering. However, even more amazing is that the FATHER was the one who wrote the story and scripted it such that his one and only son was sent to die for us. Now that is a powerful thing. It's powerful because 1) it is difficult to deal with the death of anyone, regardless of likeability or not. 2) it is even more difficult to deal with the death of someone who willingly gave their life for another-in those cases we feel that it was not just for the dead to die for another and we honor those people in our hearts, and for whatever reason, their death is more gripping because of the "choice" that they made, but 3) it is even more difficult to deal with the death of your own child, especially if you are the one writing the story and could do anything and everything to prevent it, yet knowing that it must happen in order for eternal life to be given to all who ask. What a powerful message.
But what does that have to do with Senegal? I found out yesterday that my church has adopted an orphanage in Senegal-West Africa. And from the moment I heard about it, my heart has been pounding with a desire to go, and I don't mean for a visit or a short-term missionary trip. I mean GO there. However, the impracticality of it all right now seems a bit much. I'm 2 and 1/2 months away from getting married. I have a large amount of school debt to pay off before I can think of doing anything remotely related, and yet here burns the desire. I WANT to go. And I wonder what it is. Much like the character in the movie today, my life has taken some amazing turns within the last few months. I'm engaged, I'm going to marry the man of my dreams, I have a great job, I recently bought my dream car, I've been surgery-free and major illness-free for nearly two years now, and life is going great! So what would it be that would make me want to go to a third-world//pretty dangerous country and live in an orphange? The answer is simply that I can think of nothing that would be more amazing and joyful than to go and love those kids, and that community. And when I say love, I don't mean like give a hug and then forget about them. I mean LOVE them. And it's because I have known love and joy and peace from God. And if I have that, what else could I do with my life than to give it away? How could I hoard the treasures that God has so richly blessed me with? And if it costs me my life? If it costs me the comforts I know know, but a life or lives are transformed and the hope and promise of the message of Christ crucified is given then in the grand scheme of things, isn't that infinately more valuable than the price of the whole world?
I don't know where I'll be three months from now. Hopefully home from a fantastic honeymoon with my husband and enjoying the new adaptations of being married. Perhaps I'll be packing my things with Ryan and getting ready to move to Senegal, or perhaps my mission field will stay in Milwaukee and we'll see the city transformed. Or perhaps something "tragic" will have happened and I will lose my life in a car accident. Who knows the day or the hour or the circumstances of their own death? That I don't know, but what I do know is this...I am ready, and I embrace it. My life is in the hands of the best author, and he knows exactly what will get the attention of his audience, and I joyfully say "use me Lord". If I live 6 more hours or 60 more years is an irrelevant issue. The real issue is whether or not my life expresses the joy of knowing the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and that joy is passed on to others.
Let my lifesong sing...

Thanksgiving

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. As is the case for the past few years, I'm going to be spending the holiday here in Milwaukee. However, this year I get to spend it with Ryan's family. I'm looking forward to it. We've got our first couple sets of wedding invitations done, so I'm going to be working on the insert for directions/hotels/maps, etc today and try to get those printed off before we head over to "Grandma's" tomorrow. Don't worry everyone else, your invite will be on the way soon, I just haven't quite finished things off yet! :) (Which is amazing that I've gotten some of it done, considereing the fact that I still have Scott and Betsy's Wdding present sitting in my kitchen. Umm, it's on the way?) Anyway, It should be an interesting day, and I'm hoping that I can convince my fiancee to NOT watch the Dallas game, and to turn on my Lions. As Ceci stated in her blog, that's just a part of Thanksgiving. Watching the Lions play, and probably play their only good game of year, and listening to the family yell at the screen and coach from the couch. I'm sure that my future in-laws would easily step into that role as well, seeing that they are all huge sports fans. Anyway, so it should be an interesting day, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to being able to get back to Holland next weekend to visit my family. I'm missing them a bit, and can't wait to see how everyone's grown. Sydney's walking!! Unbelievable!
Well, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone and I hope that all are able to stuff themselves to their desired uncomfortableness!

Three Colors

Today has been quite a full day. I went to work this morning earlier than usual. Fridays are the days at work when I'm responsible for in-servicing the nursing staff/setting up the audio-visual equipment, etc. Today wasn't as much of a hassle as usual because we had a guest speaker. So that was nice. Another thing that was nice this morning, was the fact that I was driving to work and decided to get a cup of joe from Starbucks on my way to work. Now, I haven't had caffeine since the first week of October. Usually a cup would have little effect on me. But today! Goodness gravy it was like shooting pure caffeine into my veins! And a darn good thing it was. We had four people call in sick, everyone was short handed and the staff of Urgent Care (which is where I work) ended up running throughout the clinic to help out the other teams. Normally it would have stressed me out, but that cup of coffee kept me going (and at this point I'd only drank half the cup). Took a half an hour lunch instead of an hour, and got back to the craziness. The afternoon was busy, and I had signed up to work the evening shift which usually gets done around 9pm or so. HOWEVER, TODAY was a little different. You know how it is, when you get to work early, you've been super busy all day long, the first time you sit down all day is at 6pm, and then THAT guy walks in the door! Oh yes, THAT guy. HIPPA prohibits me from divulging too much of this story, but here's the long and the short of it. The guy needed an IV, that didn't go well, he nearly passed out, damanded an ambulance, then tells the crew when they arrive that since he's been getting fluids he feels MUCH better and doesn't need them, then the Dr. I'm working with knowing that there's not much left medical to do with him besides letting more fluids checks to see if he can leave and ride his bike home (thought you'd like that one Chris), and of course I let him go. Then the NP that I'm working with decides to stay with me to make sure I don't get raped since I'm all alone with these two guys in a room. She stays, we take care of the IV, let the guy go and I end up getting home well after 10pm. I'm still wired from the coffee, which is a good thing because I'm teaching a class from 9-2 tomorrow about spiritual gifts. I'm really excited about teaching the class, but didn't get a chance to look at the stuff until now. Let's hope that all goes well. :)
Additionally, Bo Shembechlar's passing away today mirrored a death that was close to my family exactly 9 years ago today when my grandfather passed away. Bo was a legacy in Michigan Football, and his death comes on the eve of one of the biggest games in all of the College Football season this year. His death, undoubtedly will cause the Michigan team to be a little nostalgic, and to fight harder than they probably thought they even could. My grandfather, as well, was somewhat of a spiritual legacy in my family/extended family and his death happened at a critical time in my life, which forced me to dig in and search for who "I" really was in my relationship with the LORD. His death has been one of the most influential in my life. It happened at a point in my life that really forced me to reflect and grow spiritually. I have often been blessed when I look back to where I was nine years ago, and to realized the foundational building blocks that I learned from that experience. It has been a blessing, and I cannot imagine my life without having gone through that experience. Sometimes the tough things in life, are the ones we learn the most from. Even though pain is not easy to go through at the time, it helps mold us and shape who we are. Where would the Grand Canyon be if it weren't for the cutting/raging waters of the Colorado River?

AHHHHHHH!!

It has been a crazy last few months, but I keep telling myself that it'll be worth it. Ryan and I haven't seen each other much over the past couple of weeks. Ryan's been working 85+ hours a week, and I've been picking up 2-3 nights a week at the clinic. However, on the lighter side of things, we're going to Hawaii, which makes our "at work dates" more worth it. (yes, he's darn cute in his bow tie at the Custard place).
I can't wait until we have more time together, and less time together at work. But for now, I'll take our 15 minute work dates and be happy.

Following after my Colorado Cousins

After returning home from my cousin Scott's wedding, I was struck by the unique decor in my cousin Marni and Chris' house. Seeing as how I had absolutely no decor in my own kitchen, I figured that I would move my own bike into my kitchen. Afterall, all of my ktichen appliances are red, but there was no centerpiece to the motif. Now I have one. Thanks for the motivation guys! (And seriously, I have had my bike in the kitchen since I got back from your house. It doesn't fit anywhere else!)

Revenge of the DUTCH!

At work it is common for me to come across names such as: Perez, Sepulveda, Quintanilla, Rodriguezvalezquez, and the like. I often stumble through the more difficult names, or flat out ask patients/co-workers how to pronounce their names. Usually they'll tell me, and then do one of two things, 1)be gracious at my slaughter of trying to pronounce the name 2)become increasingly irritated that the "whitey" couldn't pronounce their name. Well, today I had my revenge! We have a new orthopaedic surgeon starting this coming week, and I get to work with him, so I've had many calls regarding Dr. "Huzz-inge-G", Dr. "Hews-ange-a", Dr. "Who-wiss-inge-ah", etc. FINALLY!! They've hired a Dutchy!! And I get to giggle at the numerous bizzare pronunciations of Dr. Huizenga's name. Oh, it's the simple things, isn't it?